Third night

Sleeping last night was difficult.  I want to forewarn you that my sleep is staggered with bad dreams and stomach pains; I woke last night many times with terrible pains in my gut.  The pain only lasts a few seconds, but I wake startled, clutching my abdomen, like someone is twisting a knife into me.  I am noisy, too.  The sounds emitting from my digestive system sound like popcorn in the microwave.  The dreams of bingeing and purging returned last night.  I think it's my minds way of playing capricious tricks on me.  The past four days I have spent the waking hours free from guilt, so at night, my mind riddles me with endless fervor of guilt.  I feel I am caught in a foggy state between sleep and wake. I want so much to escape from thoughts of eating to accomplish sleep, and my dreams of eating keep me from the respite I need to combat these thoughts during the day.  The good news is I am beginning day four free from the headache, and my swollen watermelon belly has revoked its right of trespassing.  I am determined for this new day.