For you

As we ended our conversation last night, I felt my my insides turning viscous, like my blood slowly solidifying into honey.  I love you - the caliber of love I carry is weightless, effortless, infinite in its capacity to exhale, your existence ever present around me, like a warm towel wrapping me in a heated shell, a whiff of cologne whispering to me in circles.  I never have questioned loving you.  We met and I fell gracefully with you into our relationship, easing in and out of my days and nights, your tastes and smells weaving with mine, like waves lapping the shoreline.  I am smiling thinking of you now, as I always do, wishing your image would appear next to mine.

I have the prescient desire to unload my secrets, little by little, until your mountain of stone is equivalent with mine.  I need help carrying this burden, lifting it from me and tossing it to the wind, hoping it's strong enough to whisk it away. I wonder why you have endured my suffering for so long, why you never let me push you away, as many times as I tried.  The secrets, lies, malicious thievery, my pain stabbing you with aggression, never caused you once to burn in anger, to flee in fear.  You've stood statuesque, waiting, waiting to know who I am.

I surrender the solicitous thoughts of you judging me, imagining me as my ED, hesitant to kiss my soiled mouth, touch my putrid belly, smell by lifeless hair.  I want you to know me unguarded and clean, naked and swabbed with alcohol, like a wound beginning to heal.